It wasn’t until I publicly came out as clothes free that I realized that clothes are like band aids. They cover up wounds and scars and secrets that you don’t want anyone to know or see. When I took off each piece of clothing for the camera to capture the essence of my true beauty, everything that I had suppressed came rushing to the surface like a tsunami.
It wasn’t until I made that conscious decision that I wanted to live clothes free, that everything I had been bottling up came spewing out like a carbonated drink that had been shaken up before opening.
Clothes are like a shield, they hide everything that a person does not want the world to see. They hide the bruises and scars, not physical ones, that have been multiplying over the years. It’s like that movie with the boy who lives in the bubble, it keeps anyone from getting close or coming in. Many people take pride in what they wear because they want to have this facade about them that nothing bad has ever happened to them and that they aren’t going through something. Clothes for most people is a way to show that they are living this perfect life and nothing affects them. What’s funny is most people don’t even know that that is what they are doing.
When you take off all of yours clothes and you stand in front of the mirror, what you see is who you really are, the you that no one else gets to see because you are hiding behind this fabric that was made by the blood and sweat of someone else.
So many years of hurt and pain came to me and I realized it was time to deal with those suppressed feelings and that trauma. It isn’t until you take off the mask of clothes that you realize what has been holding you back from certain things. You in the raw is the only way to come to terms with whatever it is that you are dealing with.
When I began clothes free yoga, I didn’t do it with the intention of figuring out what was behind my anger, bitterness and resentment. It was because I didn’t feel like I was connecting to each pose like I felt I should. Little did I know the change it was about to bring to my life.
In order for us to heal, we have got to stop hiding behind our clothes, houses, cars and every other material possession, strip down and let the past come to us, consume us and deal with it.
As I sat still in the raw, I let every thing that has ever happened to me, every experience, good or bad, come to me, let all of those feelings flow through me and I was able to get to the root of why I am the way I am. I won’t go into detail, may save that for a book, but now I know where everything stems from. How do I change it? I have no earthly idea, but I do know that I can’t let that part of my life hold me back from a beautiful future.