Have you ever started talking to someone and realized that you were in love with them and it was only based off of their conversation? You’ve never met this person but you knew that they were the one you had been waiting for all of your life? You had spoken this person into the universe, written them in your journal and hoped that one day they would just show up. You go about your everyday life and don’t focus on the person that you manifested into your life and then one day the person just shows up out of nowhere.
Immediately you have this connection with them that is so surreal. You could not make this ish up. You swear this person was created just for you. You have so many things in common. It’s almost like you’re the same person. This person even makes you doubt your intellect, that’s how amazingly smart they are. They’re conscious, pro-black, have the same views as you, thinks about the world differently, open-minded, plant-based, make you think, opens the depths of your mind that you didn’t even know existed.
Then you sit back and wonder how the hell do you deserve someone like this. Is it even fair? Are you being punk’d? You say you wanted all of these things in your mate and then you get them and you don’t even know how to act, respond, appreciate it, accept it. All you can think about is how you are going to f*ck it all up.
In the past you were in relationships where over time you grew to love the person and it should be that over time you love the person more, not start to. Then as soon as you begin to love them, the relationship is over. You pour your heart out and you get taken advantage of because this person knows how you feel and want to milk it for all it’s worth. Use you, abuse you and then when they are done, they leave. But not this person who just dropped into your life like a love bomb engulfing you in the flames.
So then, this person shows you who they are and you fall even more in love and day by day your feelings are so strong. These feelings are also reciprocated. But then that feeling comes back like what are the strings? To have something this damn good happen to you, there must be strings attached. And that is when you begin to go back to your old ways of finding any and everything that could go wrong.
You talk yourself out of completely giving yourself to this person when they have given themselves to you but you were to busy thinking about every possible scenario of how this can’t be right and how it is going to end. They may find out you dance naked in the mirror, you twerk badly, you do silly moves while cooking, you jump up and down when you get out of bed in the morning, you stare at yourself naked in the mirror to long because you love your body, you talk to yourself constantly, you’re a neat freak, you indulge in self pleasure, you walk around naked, you fart loud, you dance around to no music, you rub on your breasts for no reason, you play with your pubic hairs while laying in bed. The things that make you you, you are afraid of them seeing because they may think that not all the pieces in your head are together. That’s just who you are.
But you have fallen for this person faster than you have ever fallen for someone, almost instantaneous. You have never even laid eyes on this person but you already want to marry them and have their children. You love them but you can’t even tell them because you feel it’s too soon, but how soon is too soon?
We put time limits on everything when there shouldn’t be. We time how long we should date before sleeping with someone, saying “I love you”, getting engaged, getting married, moving in, meeting the parent(s)/family. We get so caught up in planning when everything is supposed to happen we miss the enjoyment of the process.
You love this person and know you are going to marry them. Hell you would even marry them next week or next month. Shouldn’t a relationship be based on two people having chemistry and they both know that the other person is the one that they’ve been dreaming of, waiting for? Shouldn’t a person be able to say “I love you” as soon as they feel it without being chastised for it because maybe they have only known the person for a few hours or a day? Shouldn’t two people be able to make a commitment if they are both on the same page at any given time? Why do we always focus on when we should do things instead of just doing it?
Tomorrow is never promised so why not marry that person, settle down and have a family as soon as you are both able to? Why wait for the perfect date or perfect time? There is no perfect time to do anything no matter how much we like to think so. We want everything to be planned so that nothing can go wrong, but even the most laid out plans go wrong. So tell that person you met yesterday that you love them and want to be with them. If they don’t feel the same, fine. Stop holding back, that is how you miss out on all the good things in life.